Don't Make the Mistake of Tolerance in Your Relationship
Sunday, September 18, 2016 at 7:18AM
Steve Smith, LMFT in Love, Marriage counselor, Relationship help, Relationships, Self Help, communication problems, psychotherapy, tCouples therapy

One of the biggest mistakes we can make in our relationships with significant others is to sit back and wait for a problem to surface, struggle with it for a long time, and then decide to try and get help with it. Another version of this is to gradually become disconnected and wait until we feel miles apart to try and reconnect. The problem with this is that the longer we stay in a rift, the more challenging it is to repair and reconnect. I have found that it is so much more effective to be proactive, continuing to nurture connection and intimacy so that the problems do not become so large and difficult to manage. Being proactive can take many forms, such as reading books about relationships together, taking personal or couple retreats, participating in workshops/classes, scheduling time to connect, going to couples therapy for a check up, learning new communication tools, or any other form of growth-oriented activity that deepens connection.

Many of us have gotten so good at tolerating friction and feeling disconnected that it becomes the norm. So I urge you, no more tolerance of so much strain or even mediocrity in your relationship. Time to take action now!

We still have a few spots left on our upcoming Relationship Tune Up Workshop. If you are interested in deepening your connection with your partner, please visit   for more information.

Article originally appeared on The Enlightend Mind | Marriage and Family Therapist | Relationship Therapist | Couples Therapist | MFT | LFMT (
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