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Entries in relationship coach (10)

Thursday
Sep082016

This is a Test--This is Only a Test.

What challenge are you facing in your life right now? Whether the challenge is related to finances, relationship, self worth, self image, health, career/vocation, please listen:

“This is a Test. This is only a test. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. This has been a test of the Universal Broadcast System to see how you might respond to this challenge in your life. If you passed this test and responded with any of the following qualities: compassion, trust, love, forgiveness, empowerment, joy, equanimity, then you will no longer need to take this test. If, however, you continued to react in fear, worry, doubt, anger, frustration, resentment, or as a victim, then we will have to keep administering this test (because we love you too much to give up on you).”

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Wednesday
Mar092016

If Romeo and Juliet Had Lived....

Have you ever wondered what would have happened to Romeo and Juliet if they had lived? Would their burning love and desire for each other have lasted throughout their lives? Would they have frolicked in the fields, finished each other’s sentences, and made passionate love all the time? The answer is NO! Because their relationship was based on good old “romantic love,” I think it would have gone like this:

 

Romeo, Romeo where art thou my dear

I can’t live without you, please please come here.

Juliet, Juliet you’re the only one for me

I only feel alive when I am with thee.

Our dream has come true and we are complete

The love we have searched for is now at our feet.

 

(Fast forward 10 years)

 

Romeo, Romeo I can’t stand you near

You don’t do a thing and you bring me no cheer.

Juliet, Juliet stop calling me lazy

It’s your nagging and nagging that’s driving me crazy.

The dream has now ended because we can see

That you’re not the person, you were supposed to be.

 

But if Romeo and Juliet couldn’t do it, is a relationship filled with love and passion even possible? YES it is! And we are all capable and worthy of experiencing it. Yet, the relationship must be rooted in something deeper than romantic love. It is the One Love that comes from our Spirit and exists within each of us. Call it what you will, Higher love, Divine Love, Universal Love, etc., but it must be cultivated in our hearts so that we can see through the outer shell and behold the beauty within our beloved.  

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Friday
Jul102015

The Greater You Is Emerging!

Why are relationships very often so challenging? Shouldn’t something that is so fundamental to our existence be much easier? For some time now I have been exploring this question through both research and the battlefield of personal struggles. One of my findings is the following. Relationships bring to the surface our deepest held limiting beliefs that we need to shed in order for a greater version of ourselves to emerge. We are all walking around with unlimited, unconditional love within us that wants to emerge and express itself, but we resist it and hold back, often unconsciously. Our relationships are the perfect vehicle to help illuminate the things we need to refine within ourselves in order to evolve to greater states of love. What is truly fascinating is that just about every day we are offered opportunities with our partners (or others) that could propel us forward in our personal evolution—if we would just capitalize on them:

Am I ready and willing to forgive now?

Will I risk being open or vulnerable?

Am I willing to love my partner just as they are?

Will I claim my voice and speak my truth?

Am I open to receiving love from my partner?

And so on…

Saying YES to these opportunities requires that we let go of an old version of ourselves and make room for the Spirit of Love to come forth. The big problem, of course, is that in a relationship it is very seductive to wait for the other person to change first. I know this because I have been seduced many times and waited, and waited, and waited, and to my utter astonishment nothing changed. 

Are you ready to make the following commitment?  

For every challenge in my relationships, I will seize the opportunity to transform myself into a greater version of me.

Even if you don’t know how to transform yourself yet, it is important to make this commitment. If you do this with sincerity the next steps will become more visible, particularly if you trust the unfolding of this process. All you have to do is let that greater YOU emerge and express the infinite love from within.

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Wednesday
Mar262014

Only 50 Million Steps to Enlightenment

Our minds tend to want linear steps that direct us how to achieve something. Many articles and books written today have a title such as “The 5 Steps to This” or “7 Keys to Achieving That.” We want the logical, linear steps that will help us get to our destination. Not long ago I went to a book-writing seminar and was told that the title must be something along the lines of “6 Steps to a Healthy Relationship” or no one would even pick it up. So I am now following their advice and thought I would share with you the steps required to attain Enlightenment.

The title is a bit misleading because there is actually only one step, but you must do it 50 million times. And what is that one step? Surrender. Then surrender. Then surrender again, and over and over and over again. In every moment we are either allowing or resisting our true selves and the natural flow of life. When you notice you are resisting, and you will know because it won’t feel very good, just surrender. I estimate we have about 2000 opportunities each day to surrender, so in about 70 years you will be Enlightened. And you thought Enlightenment was out of your reach! 

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Saturday
Feb082014

Listen to the Call of the Heart

In January of 1982, a plane carrying 74 passengers crashed into the icy waters of the Potomac River in Washington, D.C. Several of the passengers survived the crash but were stranded on wreckage and blocks of ice floating in the middle of the river. After nearly 20 minutes rescue workers finally arrived by helicopter and began to airlift the survivors out. A lifeline was lowered to one of the survivors, Arland Williams, Jr., but instead of holding on and saving himself he passed the rope to one of his fellow passengers. He did this several times, allowing for the others to be pulled to safety while he clung to the ice in freezing waters. By the time the helicopter returned for the final rescue, Arland was gone. He couldn’t hold on any longer and slipped away into the frigid water. I will never forget the profound impact this event had on my twelve-year-old mind. The idea that a man (or woman) could give up their life for the sake of another filled me with awe. For most people, this was a demonstration of courage and bravery to the highest degree. And it certainly was that, but it was also an act of pure love that touched something deep within my heart. It was the same way I felt when I thought about other heroic figures who personified love, such as Jesus or Mother Theresa. What could possess someone to make a decision to do such a thing?

I understand now that Arland was able to transcend the grip of his ego, which is based on fear and survival, and listen to the call of the heart. I don’t know exactly what transpired in his mind but my guess is that he surrendered to his Spirit, and let love lead the way. He was likely “possessed” by the Spirit of Love, which is indestructible, limitless, fearless, and knows we are all connected. And today, while his body may no longer contain life, that Spirit lives on and continues to inspire others, including me.

Most of us are not called to give up our life for the sake of another, but if we listen carefully we are called to set aside our ego for the sake of love every single day. The ego, in the way I am defining it, is designed to keep us separate and ward off any threats to the individual personality. The idea of genuine love threatens the ego because love recognizes oneness, togetherness, connectedness, openness, etc. Individuality can still exist in love but the ego doesn’t understand that. It tries to protect and defend itself, neither of which are characteristics of love. The heroes who can listen to the call of the heart, such as Arland, Jesus, and others like them, symbolize the willingness to transcend the ego for love of another. And it is in answering this call where we can all truly find our Selves.

This does not require some fantastic or life-threatening event, and we don’t have to go very far to search it out. We can do this every day and with the people that are right next to us. Our partners or spouses offer wonderful opportunities that challenge our ego’s stronghold on a daily basis. We tend to complain about these challenges, not realizing these are the very gifts that can lead us to our freedom. So listen carefully today, because your heart is calling.   

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